I came to realise that I'm not exactly the most committed person. I don't like being stuck on one thing unless that is the one thing that I'm interested in at the moment. Like for say cardmaking or writing that new fanfiction that's bugging me since forever. I finish what I like and put whatever that irritates me away at the bottom of everything. And I never have a specific goal in mind, if there's something that I have to do, I'll finish it but the end results are a mystery. But I'm responsible. I know that I have to finish it and I try my best to.
So I was reading this blog of a business finance graduate from Seattle who just passed with flying colours and of course celebrating it. Happy happy. And I thought about my studies.
Even if I finish this course and
if I go to university would anyone want to employ me or would I even stay committed to the media? Maybe I'm better off a business person. Managing sales and stuff like that. I want to do well and attend university
and maybe get into a course that really piques my interest but of course I'm such a lazy ass that I don't even have faith anymore. I don't think I can reach that standard and I don't want to work on something that I've no interest in and top of it all requires me to give my input
something like scriptwriting especially working on a project that isn't mine and I've no interest in it whatsoever.
It's like I can't be average anymore. Not when university admittance is at stake. Really. Average in polytechnic equals to nope-you're-not-good-enough-for-university.
I know I'm not trying my best, slogging out for that A. Man I really hate this stress for that stupid A.
If death can give me a new chance at life. Bring it on. I'll welcome the reaper anytime.
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